An abundance of caution…

Let’s see if you can mark off the bingo card with me.

“To our family of customers…“

“We are committed to your safety…”

“We are monitoring the situation…”

“We are increasing the frequency of our cleaning process…”

“We are encouraging employees who are sick to stay home…”

Was there a mass directive to the marketing departments of every retail and restaurant chain to which I have ever given my contact information, so that they can all use the same language to tell us that they’re open, taking COVID-19 seriously, and please please please still give us money?

Tell me how many you’ve gotten. I really couldn’t count mine, because I get way too many emails. But in my throwaway Gmail account that I use for commercial businesses that give me coupons and free stuff, I count 76 such emails in the past five days.

Don’t get me wrong. If you’re a business attempting to stay open in the pandemic, reassuring people that you’re disinfecting the flat surfaces where the virus could lurk for up to three days is probably a good idea. So is the idea that you’re deep cleaning the place after hours, respecting personal distance, and paying attention to the news about the disease.