Pay for it. That’s how people live.

A man walks up to a couple exiting a movie theater. “What happened in the movie?” he asks. These poor people, being of uncommon patience and immune to weirdness, spend the next 20 minutes explaining the entire plot of the movie and answering his every question. “Thanks!” the man says. “I don’t believe in paying for movies.”

The man goes to a gas station and requests a gas can. The clerk gives it to him, and he goes to the gas pump, fills it up, and simply walks away. When the clerk calls after him, he shouts, “I won’t pay for gas.”



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Elizabeth Donald

Journalist for more than 25 years, freelance writer, editor, photographer, and fiction author. Subscribe at or visit