Your obituary, brought to you by robots

A funny thing happened on my way to the newsroom.

I don’t do much breaking news anymore. As a freelancer, I might be called upon once in a while, but mostly I’m covering meetings and digging into issues and doing profiles and taking pictures of cats. This enables me to do my job without killing my defective limbs.

But on a recent Sunday, I broke out the scene bag and went to cover a candlelight vigil for a teenager who was severely injured in a car crash a few days before. I spoke with his pastor and friends and family, took pictures and notes, emailed for official records, and stumped back to my car.

Back at my desk to write the story, imagine my surprise to Google the kid’s name and find no less than seven “obituary” sites declaring the boy was dead. Phrases like “tragic loss” and “grief and sorrow” peppered the lead-in text, all of them labeled as obits.

They couldn’t be more obviously A.I. content, using the same hackneyed language. “Tranquil atmosphere” was repeated in several places. One such site labeled “EarlyMemorials” detailed what a terrific kid he was without a single smidgeon of specific information, original quote, or in fact a single human named besides the boy.

Another titled “NextDoor Funeral Homes” appears to have nothing to do with funeral homes at all…